You may not know this, but I wear glasses. Well, I’m supposed to. Not reading glasses – although I have those too. I’m talking real, “I can’t see the chalk-board” glasses, which I’ve had for a couple years. I don’t wear them very often because they make me look older.
It’s true - I remember the first time I put my glasses on. I looked at my surroundings with a new appreciation - it had been years since I’d seen everything so clearly.
Then I looked in the mirror. OMG, I realized, I have neck-wrinkles!
I didn’t know. There were a lot of things I couldn't see – like the age spots on my cheeks and the frown lines between my eyes. It turns out even though my looks had been fading, luckily so had my eyesight. Before I had glasses, I'd look in the mirror, and I was happy - my reflection had all the detail of a painting by Monet.
It turns out I'm a huge fan of Impressionism.
But the time came when I couldn’t pretend any more. I tried to watch TV but it was a blur. At the grocery store, I couldn't find the Wheat Thins. I went to Home Depot with Steve and made remodeling plans with the wrong guy.
(You might wonder whether my poor vision made me a bad driver. The answer is no - I was already a bad driver.)
I was depressed, because in the old days I had perfect vision. I called my friend Teri, who tried to cheer me up. "Hey, we can go to Eyes on Fremont and I'll help you pick some really cool frames!” she said.
Teri's worn glasses for years, and has always had cute frames that make a fashion statement. I'm mostly fashion-challenged (my style poses more of a fashion question) so I welcomed her help. Once we were at Eyes on Fremont, I tried on about a million frames (with clear lenses, of course) and finally selected one. I studied myself in the mirror. I had to admit, I looked pretty good in them.
I didn't know the reason I was looking good was that I was seeing bad. So I placed my order, and a week later went to pick my glasses up - this time with corrective lenses. I could finally see what I'd been missing. That's exactly why I only wear my glasses occasionally. And never around mirrors.
If you happen to see me around, but think I'm exaggerating? That in reality, I look just great?
You might need glasses.